Europe - Early Summer 1994

Troy and I moved in to an apartment together on Halloween Day 1993. We spent the end of that winter planning a backpacking trip through Europe. We stayed with Troy's grandparents for the month of April to save rent money and sold my Ford Escort and some of Troy's musical gear as we needed to fund a 5 1/2 week trip. We had a fabulous time! We arrived in Amsterdam and had our eyes opened to the Red Light District (we didn't partake, but walking the area was definitely interesting!). We then traveled by train to Paris, Austria, Switzerland, Germany and back down to the south of France. I fell in love with Menton, right on the eastern edge of the Cote d'Azur. It was also here where we had some of our money stolen from our little tent one afternoon. You can tell we were real planners as we didn't have return tickets and had only purchased one way! We ended up calling my father, Rick, and he purchased our flight home for us (before 9/11 you could do these things). We stayed a total of 37 days - all but two of those nights in a tent. It rained for 5 straight days in Germany and our closest acquaintance was a huge snail we named Jake. We met an incredible man, "Bomber," in Germany as well. He had participated in the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, 7 straight years. What an amazing life that man had, a true inspiration -- and he was a celebrity look-alike to Sam Elliott! We also celebrated both Troy's birthday (May 2nd) and mine (May 26th) while traveling.

I think that's when we got struck with the Travel Bug. We ended up going back to Europe two more times and had many driving and sailing adventures, too. Those stories to come...

lco

Camping - summer 1993

I think our first adventure was camping at Lake Angostura. We made Troy's friend Bob come along and a girl I worked with - Roxanne. We kept trying to play matchmaker for Bob and I think he was at the end of his rope with our Cupid's arrow! Roxanne was fun and had a "great personality" - but, well, let's just stay Bob was a skinny little twig and Roxanne had the opposite body shape. I can't remember what vehicle we drove, probably Bob's crumby Bronco. We had two tents, one for the girls and one for the boys. I know we brought hot dogs and beer, but can't remember what else for the weekend. It was a nice warm weekend and before long we had all cooled down by quenching our thirsts. Before I knew it Troy and Bob were feeling pretty good and decided to climb trees. I can still picture looking up and seeing Troy WAY up at the top...he looked like a monkey! That evening we had a fire to cook our hot dogs and I recall laughing so hard at Bob that my sides hurt. He was pretty inebriated and kept losing his dogs in the fire, however, he just reached right in and grabbed them. We were all young, poor people and weren't about to let a little charcoal and fire ruin our dinner!

I had a great weekend, but there never was romance between Bob and Roxanne. Honestly, she was very revolted by the guys. I will never forget when we woke up in the morning and Bob was covered in black soot from all those charred hot dogs! Troy and I laughed about that camping trip for years...thanks for the great memories Bob. Love ya!

lco

PS: Later that year we introduced Bob to my friend (and co-worker at the time) Candice. It was love at first sight and later they both said that as soon as they met they knew that the was person they were going to marry. Now Bob and Candice have been married for almost 13 years and have three smart, beautiful children. See earlier post for pictures and story. l

Christmas? Are you sure?

Troy and I actually first met at a dance club in Rapid City in June 1993. I was just off a bad dating experience and Troy had just split with a woman who definitely had some relationship issues, too. That night we danced and talked and drank. I was concerned about telling him my last name (as I'd had to already change my phone number 2x from the previous boyfriend calling me at all hours), but did tell him my first name and that I worked at Spiegel. We had a great first meeting...not a date, as we had met at the club and it wasn't pre-arranged. He even walked me to my car that evening and gave me a sweet kiss...on the lips...but a quick one!

It was a few weeks later and the phone rang at the admin office of my job. I usually answered this line and the somewhat timid voice on the other end asked, "Is this Lori Christmas?" I said it was. Troy explained that we had met recently and he wanted to ask me on a date. Of course, I was quite flattered that this handsome, fun young man had tracked me down and gave him my home number so we could talk more.

What I didn't find out until later was that Troy had paid a friend of his $50 to get my last name. This friend's girlfriend's sister -- or some such relation -- worked at Spiegel, too. When the friend came back with the name Christmas Troy definitely thought he had been taken! Can you blame him??? But the friend was adamant and he did call. I'm so glad that he did :o)

lco

When I Get Where I'm Going

On Sunday, December 9th, we had a nice brunch with friends and family, and afterward our friends and neighbors, the Lemay's, who had played at Troy's service, went to the hospital to play for Maryjo's dad. He loved Celtic music and they thought he may be responsive, as he had not in the few days prior. The family was right! Upon hearing that beautiful music Jerry opened his eyes, talked with us (his wife, children, grandchildren and myself). He even said he "loved" the music and wanted to go home to "get his flute." Everyone in that room, and even in that area of the hospital, received such a warm feeling from Mike, Holly and Ben's music.

Later in the day, Becky, Maryjo and I went to get a little R&R at the Alternative Health Care Center - where Maryjo works and I used to work. I'll admit, we did take our box of wine and some glasses and sat in the massage chairs and did foot baths. We were having an amazing conversation when suddenly Maryjo sunk to the floor and said she had to go talk to her dad, Jerry, who had been in the hospital a week. I knew and loved Maryjo's parents and had spent a lot of time with them. Also, they had the same wedding anniversary as Troy and I and I'd always felt a kinship with them.

Maryjo was adamant about me not going up there with her, she said I had been through enough. However, I wanted to be with her as she told her dad goodbye, I felt I needed to go. When we arrived in his room I knelt by his side, took his hand in mine and placed my other on his cheek. I told him it was okay to go, that his family would take care of each other, that he was hurting and we didn't want him to. Maryjo was right beside me, with one hand on her dad and one hand on me. The words just kept coming from me, it was like I was able to tell Jerry all the things that I wasn't able to tell Troy at the end, because he left so quickly. As I spoke there wasn't much response, but when I told Jerry that Troy would be with him in Heaven a huge smile came across his face. At that very moment we knew he understood, that it was going to be alright. I moved to the other side of the bed so Maryjo could tell her dad how she loved him and how she would take care of her mom and that it was okay for him to let go. Suddenly I began to sing Amazing Grace, just the first verse as that's all I knew, but the sound that came from me was beautiful, I told Maryjo afterward that I felt like I had channeled an Angel, because I can't sing! She had joined in and as our voices grew strong so did our hearts.

Jerry passed away the following day, just hours before Becky and I flew from Rapid City. I was able to stop at the hospital earlier that day, to hug all the amazingly strong and beautiful women in Jerry's life - his wife, his daughters and his granddaughter. I thank Jerry for giving me my wonderful friend, Maryjo, as I know he taught her to be kind, thoughtful and loving. She has been a pillar for me, as I have been for her. We may question in life why things happen and the strange timing of our loved ones' passing seemed almost cruel at first. I now feel that we were meant to be there to comfort each other and perhaps for Troy and Jerry to stand together, too.

I recorded the song "When I Get Where I'm Going" to disc while in Maine to play before Troy's service, along with a few other songs that were fitting to the occasion or were favorites of Troy's. I passed the disc to Maryjo to take to the hospital and this song played as Jerry took his last breath. It was also played at Jerry's service. Coincidentally, another dear friend, Nicky, bought Sharon and I copies of the CD and accompanying book. It's a beautiful song and truly fitting...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Zfx5qra_g

lco

Tears in Heaven

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRsJlAJvOSM

Tears in Heaven, Eric Clapton
Sent to me by Patricia Marquis, Hollis, Maine

Troy & Lori, Glacier Bay Alaska, June 2004

Troy's Memorial Service

Saturday, December 8th.

It had snowed the night before and early that morning, but it was the beautiful, fluffy kind of snow that makes a nice, clean blanket over the earth. We arrived around 1pm and set up a photo board Gary and Sharon had put together. Becky had printed 5 pictures of Troy and had them mounted for the service - the black and white portrait of Troy, on the sailboat, fly-fishing, in Paris at the Eiffel Tower and on the beach in Maine. They were all wonderful examples of Troy's adventurous life...and the portrait was very intense. The church in Hermosa was perfect for the service, a nice white country church where Troy had gone with his grandparents over the years, and it was filled with flowers. Our friends and neighbors, Mike, Holly and Ben Lemay, played gorgeous Celtic music before the service. I still don't know how many people attended the memorial, I heard over a hundred and I know we had printed 75 handouts and only had 2 left. Some ladies from the church sang Hero and Wind Beneath My Wings. Reverend Behringer led a nice service with appropriate scriptures. He also read a letter that Jerry Herber had written and encouraged others to speak. Jim Massey and Bob Meis came forward to share memories of Troy and funny stories. Bob even wore the rubber boots that were Troys - just as he promised me he would. Mike and Holly Lemay spoke about Troy's love for animals and some sailing adventures.

After the service we caravaned in 4-wheel drive vehicles to the South Plateau to spread Troy's ashes; just as he had requested we do. The current land owner had plowed a path and we arrived just at sunset. I think some of our group didn't believe we could get up that hill...but Gary was going to perservere. We were in the second vehicle, following Garry and Marsha, who had stopped at the bottom. Our "gang" yelled and encouraged Gary to give it all that Suburban had and we made it a little ways, just to start sliding back down the hill when he let off the gas! I told him I thought if I had been behind the wheel we may have even made it...HA! So Gary stepped out, grabbed my arm, I had Troy's ashes in the other, and he helped/dragged me up that snowy, slippery slope. It was truly exhilarating. At the top I walked around a moment and Gary hollered at me to come back to the edge to see Troy's loved ones. He later described it as a scene from a movie, and I don't know how I can describe it to you now. But what we witnessed was miraculous - people were pushing, pulling and dragging each other to the top. Each one forging to the top with the help of those around them. It brings a warmth to my heart at this very moment just remembering that amazing sight.

Once everyone arrived at our destination Terry placed flowers in the middle of the circle and we all stood and held hands. Candice said a beautiful prayer and I asked for those who wanted ashes to come forward. After those people went back to their places in the circle I realized we still had plenty of Troy's ashes to go around. I walked the inside of the circle and placed ashes in the hand of every person on the plateau. I felt such joy and strength in sharing with his family and friends. I spoke briefly about my love for Troy and his love for each of those in attendance. I honestly can't remember what I said, but looking at that circle and those faces, I don't think it really mattered, we were all on the same page. Then we raised our hands and threw Troy's ashes into the circle. We also tossed in the red roses that had been brought to the service. My sister described the ashes on the snow as having a "starburst" effect and I remember the sparkling in the late evening light. There was also a red hue in the sky during the plateau service and a mysterious calm that isn't usually felt in South Dakota in winter.

The intensity of those moments were broken by humor as we descended that hill. I know those of you who attended can still hear the laughter! For those of you not there, you should have seen us! Some running...and not being able to stop easily at the bottom. Some scooted on their butts and we ALL slipped and slided to the vehicles parked below. I'm sure Troy was up there laughing at us, too.

It was truly an incredible day. The snow, the family, the friends, the music, the sunset, the tears and the laughter. It was just as Troy had wanted.

lco